Home
by Atheniandream
Summary: After-scene to BREAKPOINT 2x05 Spoilers Spoilers For 2.05 onwards - Minor Harvey/Donna.
1. Chapter 1

Spoilers for BreakPoint 2x05 +++ Donna Centric (Donna/Harvey little bit but not too much) Episode Tag-On/

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SUITS

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**HOME**

As the elevator doors closed, through stainless steel reflection the image of him burned a little, irritating her already stinging eyes and boring into her chest like a dead weight.

If she were herself in that moment she'd make a sarcastic joke out of it all, play it off with an 'Oh Well, screwed that day' and a usual Donna-like quip to cut the tension and dispel the blame.

But she wasn't herself today. Pressure and desperate feeling will do that to a person.

And there was no 'other' day. This was the last day. She was the one to blame for that.

She should have known better. She should have listened to Mike for starters. That god damned kid had the right idea from the start. But something had been pushing at her, since the moment she felt the memo in her hands, dry and crisp, the stamp in the corner with her name signed in the middle of it. She saw her resignation there like it had been waiting in that box for her, a ticking clock counting down her time at the firm.

_"Well, Maybe you shouldn't be my BOSS anymore!"_

She'd been slipping all day, her reserve trickling out. Questioning herself; not only her ability to do her job but also the wildness of her motives for not coming forward with that little *piece* of paper. She knew it the moment he'd reacted to her not telling him that things had gone too far to go back.

_Something so small into something so big..._

All day she'd been on self-destruct, a rolling cog out of the factory threatening everything to come crashing down. A memo that lie in pieces at the bottom of the compact shredder at Pearson/Hardman .

_And his eyes..._

So much unsaid in them and yet the inability to say anything at all. He didn't even say goodbye. She knew Harvey Spector inside out, but in that moment? A line had been drawn. She wasn't sure what it all meant, but they weren't in the same place anymore.

She was more dangerous than even the Great White Lawyer. She would do anything to save him, his reputation, his career, his life. Anything. And in that bathroom she knew then she'd gone too far, cared too much, and feared too much, assumed far more than her job titled required.

For fear of him, herself and them.

She lent her head back against the grey cold steel, slumping her back and closing her eyes to the four walls in motion.

She'd royally screwed the whole damn deal and had in turn become a casualty of this quiet war.

Pearson/Hardman was no longer her home.

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_'Stuck inside these Walls_

_Tell me there is hope for Me'_ ~ Sia 'I'm in Here' Acoustic Version


	2. Chapter 2

Spoilers for Break Point you know the DRILL!

**HOME PART TWO **

The two women had been sat opposite each other in the café for at least ten minutes, neither speaking since Rachel had spilled her latest awkward encounter with Mike, holding their hot cups of coffee against the chill rising every time someone opened the door.

"So, how is everything…after?"

She heard the words coming out of Rachel's mouth but her focus was broken as she watched a man passing by the shop window, something about the colour of the silk napkin in the breast pocket that looked vaguely familiar, like Har-

"I'm Fine."

It had been a week since that day she'd sooner forget. A week that she'd spent avoiding job hunting, or even the idea that she had even worked in...*that* place. It was still too raw, to exposed a situation for her to want to dwell on, and she wasn't the type to dwell on much.

"Are you sure?" The Paralegal asked, drawing out the syllables with even and tender measure. "I know it must have been so hard, I can't believe Harvey never even-"

"Don't. Say his Name." She cut Rachel off in a second leaving them staring at eachother. And like the time she only had to look at her to suggest a pointed question on a certain working relationship, in this moment their looks spoke volumes.

And no. She didn't want to talk about Harvey. And instantly she regretted the notion.

"How is he?"

She watched as the younger women inhaled the question with a sharp but dense clarity, in preparation to answer her.

"Um, from what Mike says, he's… he misses you Donna."

"Oh." That floored her, almost disappointment that the situation was still taking up his time.

Even when he bedded other women she was at least happy that he was happy, passing them all off as floozies and flirts and 'hobbies' of his. She had been his 'work-wife' for so many years, filling in for a role he never gave to any woman when he went home. And sitting in this very seat she was worrying about who was doing that job and knowing with every fibre of her being that they weren't doing it half as well as she had. But then she had always given too much. When Rachel had last queried her knowledge on the infamous and very private Harvey Spector, she'd shunned the idea of anything more because in both their eyes 'You can't go back'.

And you can't. She couldn't go back. She couldn't even 'think' back, even bounce back to the same old banter with Rachel. This person was her friend but in this moment sat opposite her only reminded her of all that she had lost, that and the bitter salty taste of the coffee in her mouth feeling like the taste of...loss.

"You should…talk to him. You know? I think it would help things. Mike says he's been...pensive."

"What do I say Rachel? I screwed up, I went too far to protect someone I … I got fired. From my Job. "

"You love him." There wasn't a question in the way she'd said the words, more as a statement of fact. Revelations aren't always so awe inspiring, so black and white in simplicity and truth.

"I do."

Sometimes they're just... in the grey.

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'I Built a Home

For You

For Me' ~ 'Build me a Home' By Cinematic Orchestra


	3. Chapter 3

NOTES: As I thought Rachel's talk with Donna had fitted in quite well after 'All In' but before 'Sucker Punch', this takes place around Episode Nine but is a little AU from there just in case of future spoilers.

ALWAYS, SPOILERS WARNING WARNING WARNING BLARRING SIRENS.

OOOOOOOOO

Real Human Being & A Real Hero. – Song Quote.

OOOOOOOOO

**HOME PART 3**

As Donna opened the door to her apartment, the man behind it stiffened, standing a little straighter than she remembered. She knew this day would come eventually. It was only a matter of time after you've continued to dodge a person's calls for a good working week.

The first had started with a _"Donna, I, Call Me." _and by the end of the week, had graduated to a pretty impressive _"Donna I need to talk to you okay? Call me back."_

Not the assistant on any one of the six times, though it wasn't a huge surprise to her. Whenever she'd pointed something out that he'd done wrong he had always challenged her on it or done the exact opposite of what the accusation was in the first place. He had a way of infuriating her to the very core, almost always on a Monday morning.

Today was a Tuesday afternoon. She'd expected better.

"I was going to knock but I-" He began, but she cut him off.

"What Harvey? What do want now?" She fired at him, flicking the purse that she clutched in one hand. She was beginning to hate the gut reaction that ran up her stomach and out of her mouth every time she saw him. And For a moment, he just looked at her, pensive, calculating…something.

"Uh, I don't have time for this-" She said, turning to pull the door to as his hand stretched and he grabbed the frame.

"I'm Sorry…For everything." His words exhaled out of him, slumping a little at the admission.

Watching her silent form, he continued. "About Louis, I mean-"

"Look, like I told Mike, you should have known how Louis would be about this, he's a creep when nice so god knows what you were thinking putting that pony in the ri-"

"Mike told me he came to see you."

"Twice." She said. "I think the kid has a crush, if he hadn't been trying to bone Rachel for months I'd have said a crush on you but-"

"Donna could you just…" He gestured, lips forcing a tight line. "I'm trying to *think* here."

She was rambling, she couldn't help it. She was still angry and nervous and the man in front of her was clearly not the Harvey Specter she'd known and she didn't want to deal with that today.

But he looked *so*…

He wore a white shirt and a silver grey tie that was strained around the knot. Same as he'd worn at the trial. She knew what that meant. This man was tired, worn out even and not in control of his life at the moment. And of course he wasn't, for the first time in years the man didn't have her making the world around him work for him. _The man was unravelling_. Louis had been right about something, she'd not only been this man's work secretary, she'd been his life secretary, and that was a lot to be ripped away from in a week.

"Sorry. Continue." She shifted, still vaguely aware that they were stood in a hallway, _*her*_ hallway. And that he'd actually made his way into her building in the first place…without the security code.

For a second she saw him gather himself, like if he were to lose focus the ground beneath him would crumble.

And then he said it.

"I miss you."

The force in his eyes made her blink. "I know." She said.

Harvey immediately flashed his trademark tone of mock annoyance. "What? *How* do you know?"

"I'm Donna. I know."

"Okay Smartass how do you know?" He asked.

She rolled her eyes and decided there that perhaps she wasn't going out for lunch today, ignoring the sound her stomach made and opened the door turning back into her apartment. Moving towards the kitchen she tossed her purse on the sofa.

"Mike told Rachel, Rachel told me." She replied matter-of-factly. "I still have my spies in Pearson Hardman you know." She eyed him with one raised eyebrow.

Even when she was very angry at this man she could still play with him and maybe even enjoy it.

"We settled a deal on the Tanner case."

His words stopped her dead. _Not *his* case_, she noted.

"What was the deal?"

"One hundred thousand to each Partner in the firm, no disbarment, no trial."

_He hadn't taken a chair like he would usually. _

"But, that's…really, nothing else? How did that turn around?" She asked.

"Hardman found dirt on Tanner."

"Oh. Is that..." Everything coming out of his mouth was slightly off, like there was something missing, a penny to drop suddenly. She clutched a mug as she flicked the kettle on, the kitchen counter acting as a barrier.

"Is that a good thing? Hardman's not exactly Mr Trustworth? I mean the guy bleeds tar."

"No probably not. But Mike made me realize. I can't hurt anyone else if we settled. I can't hurt you again." He cleared his throat. "So, I made a choice."

Suddenly everything became clearer. That damned kid. He did fix it. She was silently thankful she wouldn't be going against Tanner, to be humiliated and thrown in jail before renouncing herself as the founder of the I-Heart-Harvey-Specter-and-I'd-do-it-again fan club. Somehow though she was sure if this man continued to be in her life, he'd probably hurt her again whether by accident, on purpose or as a residual debris of his hectic life. He was who he was, after all.

"How's Jessica taking it?" She asked. _No bad blood…_

"Well, Jessica wanted the trial. The moment I voted, the swing vote, Hardman, the son-of-a-bitch double played us for a Managing Partner vote. I've basically screwed her over."

The weight of his words settled for a moment.

"Oh. Harvey I'm so sorry." Something occurred to her in a flash. "Wait, are you… sure he didn't orchestrate all of this? I never saw that…Memo."

"I don't know." And there came out a real truth to his words.

None of them knew.

This was bad, for Harvey, for Jessica, for Mike and the firm. Daniel Hardman was out for blood and they were all a just dominoes waiting to be bowled over. This would be a dogfight, and suddenly not much else from the last week mattered. In one fail swoop this man had been at the hand of the oncoming storm only to have it change hands into a whole room of people's worst nightmare.

She looked at him, and felt,

_Perhaps this *was* love?_

In a flash he could turn her from stone to fire and then sunshine. She glanced back at him to find have him eyeing her cautiously, still standing motionless in the doorway.

"Come In?" She joked, eyeing the space between him and the open door.

Pushing the door to a close with a slight flick of the hand, he moved towards her couch and sat, shifting awkwardly on the brown cord to unbutton his suit jacket. He looked so classically out of place, like gleaming steel on orange tweed. She sat down next to him and propped two cups of onto the coffee table.

This man, this strange and wonderful man that she had protected for so long was now so vulnerable on her couch, even in his big hotshot suit, hair slicked, shoes shined he looked: defeated, broken. She tried to not let it show how so, focusing on her mug.

"That assistant is a Jackass." He said after a minute of her sipping the French Cinnamon. Two sugars. Foam.

"Oh, you didn't get a hot twenty year old giraffe to letch over then?"

"Donna Paulsen, I'll have _you_ know I am no letch, and I'm sure he's twenty. Deer in headlights idiot look about him."

"Oh, of course! He's a young guy! Oh, give him a break."

The subject of someone else doing her job seared a little, so she masked the topic with some jovial encouragement.

"He'll be fine, just give him time."

"The guy colour codes the urgency of messages. And, tells me the colour before giving me the message."

"Oh, God. Let's shoot him now." She nudged his shoulder with her arm, and from it came a small real laugh and real colour in the man's face since he'd appeared on her doorstep. He relaxed a little and lent his head back briefly against the sofa cushion closing his eyes and letting out a long audible breath and she watched him for what seemed like an eternity before deciding there and then.

"You're tired."

"I'm Fine." He retorted, voice thick with sleep.

Donna shot up from the couch on automatic pilot, taking her hand in his. "Come on, let's go."

"Donna, what-What are you doing?" he resisted slightly but seemed to allow her to pull him down the corridor despite his protestations.

"Come On. Vamanos, Mr Specter."

"Donna wait, what-" Came a rather fractured questioning.

"Could you just stop being the Boss, for like two minutes? Come on."

The rest of their short journey to her bedroom was met with silence as she brought him through the door. She'd been suffering with a stress ache for the past week so her shutters were half down. She turned to him letting go of his hand, swearing that she felt a small squeeze before he did so. Taking his lapels she very lightly removed his jacket, following it round to his back, for a second caught the light aroma that was his cologne. Ignoring a slight dizzy warm feeling, the smell of cut grass, fresh air and something innately him, she folded the jacket and draped it over her dresser chair as he watched her. Then she moved towards his tie, her fingers making their way to the knot, only to pause for a second, feeling the silk that rested there and hesitating at the touch, like she'd overstepped a sacred mount. She leant into him ever so slightly.

"Donna I…"

"Take your tie off or it'll get creased."

Swallowing whatever words were threatening their retort, he slowly complied, quietly undoing his tie before letting her take it from him and watching her place it next to his jacket, leaving him in his crisp white shirt. His eyes never left her once.

She took his hand once more and moved him gently to the bed.

"You look tired." She stated simply, pressing him by the shoulders ever so slightly until he began to lie back on the cushions. "Now, sleep." She said, an encouraging smile playing on her lips before she turned for the door.

"Stay with me."

"Harvey, I don-" She warned, turning to face him.

"Please." He asked, voice cold and hard and needing.

She eyed his face; jaw tensed a little, but his eyes, his eyes were dark and withholding but yet somehow had softened slightly since he'd arrived. And more words were playing there in their depths, mixing up her insides. Sighing in quiet defeat, she shut the door, moved to the side that he laid on, flicking off her shoes and shrugging off her cardigan to the floor as she sat down in the space he'd made for her. She pulled out a pillow from underneath the quilt and faced away from him on her side.

"FYI Mister this is a no-groping zone."

She heard a small chuckle erupt from him as his hand snaked through the space between her right arm and waist landing on her stomach. Her stomach muscles under his hand tensed and she tried to mask the audible sigh it caused as he pulled himself to rest flush against her.

Any other man and he'd been a beat away from a kick in the balls. But this was Harvey Specter, and she knew him enough. _Did her know her enough?_ The answer to that question she was unsure of and it took her a moment to mentally relax herself. She wasn't sure what was happening, or what her intention had been in bringing him to her room now that she was lying next to him. Maybe she didn't care anymore.

A moment passed, where only breathing could be heard.

"I'm still angry with you." She said simply.

"I'm still angry with *you*." He answered. "I still have my shoes on."

"Ssssh. We're sleeping." She whispered, feeling him smile against the base of her neck that caused her to shiver.

She let her eyes flutter shut. She wasn't sure what was coming for them, or what they were, where she was going or what mattered most, but for the moment and for the first in a very long time she felt like she was,

Home.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Please feed the kitty if you want more. There may be more. Here's the kitty. _


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